I keep saying I need a break, but like I'm so close I can taste it. I find myself wondering lately if I made the right decision to stay in Mokhintsis and I'm still like 90% sure but it's like dammmnn maybe that clout would be nice.  And then I remember, that's all it would be, clout...for instagram, proof or evidence to show so called haters that i'm doing sumn worthwhile.  But the hunger and knowledge I have at this very moment so unmatched that I laugh alone sometimes before I cry till I knock (sleep). I know that this presence is not temporary and time is fluid so in my mind it's weird but I already feel famous and humble af at the same time.  I know that the hunger I have won't go away and the continued growth is what sets me apart from the rest blah blah omg i sound so cliche rn.  whatever. I work hard and it shows and i'm mad excited for that.  I'm beyond excited for what's coming next.  I will take a break soon, most likely a week off with no phone for my bday haha.  then come back do a show and drop a single who knows. ehhm.. anywho, i appreciate everyone who believes in me.  I wont' give up don't worry.  Everything happens in it's own time, and as I was telling Ani, and she wholly agreed and already had chats with others, we feel like the foundation we have built over the last 2 years is strong AF.  Like when i say branches are strong, i mean like forreal, squad is amazing and every single person is climbing and grinding hard towards their own goals and in turn it just happens to help the collective goals naturally.  I love us.  I feel so blessed. My hand hurts now bye .

I keep thinking of next moves, what am I doing tmrw, next week, next month?  Yet it's soft plans.  Huge follower of the universe and believe we control our own destiny as we settle into our own path and piece to the puzzle of life.  I always used to dream of being a big superstar, shook it off because, doesn't everyone???  What makes me so special that it could actually be true for me?  But then, I divorced a real asshole, while keeping mine in tact, thank you, and a day 1 pointed out to me that: A, I'm single AF, and B, no kids, which equals C, I can do whatever the FUCK I want!  It took me a year or so to actually take his advice, but once all the heartache (from him and my family I lost for a bit), drugs ( I was goin thru some stuff, I tried some shit), wore off, it clicked, it was like oh DAMN.  I legit do whatever I feel every day, every decision and it has led me here.  Where is here you ask?  Here is sitting at this desk typing this shit out, no real objective but I want to start a blog to really talk about my day and show you guys how everything is truly connected.  I can't think of any past stories right now, drawing a fckn blank im hungry lolol but as I remember I will try my best to write them down and share!  

ok tata 4 now dahling.