pic by @indahbynatalie

bruh how the fuck is it the 5th month and say word i haven't added a blog entry yet this year. i'm so unserious lol.  i find it interesting that when i'm working i still like random tv in the background. but it used to be old school shows ive seen but now it's shows i haven't seen before and then i be distracted af when its a good show like bad sisters cuz its mom and all her aunties and thats all i can say on that…and INVINCIBLE. im obsessed with invincible. i dont wanna finish the 4th season cuz i just found out its new and i just discovered and binge watched it. shit im gettin distracted currently its a youtube vid “stories that sound fake but actually happened” and multiple contact lenses are being taken out of one eye at one time cuz someone forgot to take out her dailies for like ever i guess. ok lets switch to music. 

this is good cuz im tryna dj. even tho i failed the goal of doing a dj set before end of 2025 LOL. and i still havent even. well anyway nah matter. i'm gettin back to hyper focused. i've just been kinda chillin. well not chillin but just truly followin flow and seein wat happens. this next steps and coming couple years are going to be mad intentional and im so nervous and excited to see what happens. i cry when i reach goals so i'll fill yall in i'm sure. hmm plans plans. well im starting subscriptions. which is kinda backwards cuz i should have content stacked and ready. but really that hasnt been workin for me. i work better under pressure so im creating it fuck it and then i HAVE to have that content ready for peeps. also gettin back on my email newsletter tingy's. i think i got like 40 subscribers or sumn i dunno. but just creating my own line to anybody who wanna actually follow my career. sumn tells me ig aint it. even with sofar, id love to grab some of those emails. i will start asking ppl. start getting back into these grants im done bein mad lol. i just need the system to be sustainable. but me stayin out of it aint gonna fix shit. 

i think its. wild my mom and i have come such a long way. it still trips me out when she allows me to stop at a fast food joint drivethru for food or yesterday droppin off a costco size bag of popcorn. dammnn. appreciate it. my health journey sucks but its my own. i'll get there eventually but till then i still love my. body. love a toxic bish thats why im obsessed with myself lol. i should read these blog posts back someday soon i feel like im so unhinged sometimes. but watevs. im working with new management and i have a meeting with her in 2 days and its like whats my brand. ive been like i dunno. i dont know if i blv in a brand for the biggest of stars maybe that's why. anyone i know has just been authentically them. or they pop off a certain sound vibe or look like ice spice then ur just stuck there. sometimes its amazing and u see artists break out of that shell. rare tho. whoa diamonds in teal by lucky daye is playing right now. has me swaying. is it rude to say in front of producers i really fuck with and work with that i havent heard the sound that i want for my album yet. like anywhere. its in my head and i need to learn how to produce to get it out. im only realizing in this moment it might be rude but ive been saying that for almost a year now. i just, i dunno, i just wanna fuck it up so bad. i wanna work with someone who is fucking shit up like my outfits do here. but like if i was in ATL id be basic af and if me and that producer got together it would just make sense ya know. i dunno if that tracked but im still flowing so fuck it. some shit thats so grand so weird maybe it fucks up “rules” of beat making. i dunno. cuz the flows i got in my head i just need the beat to pull it out. anyway. this shit aint impossible so i need to stop talkin and just do it lol. but first….DJ. oh shit i gotta take these pics for sacrid beauty. they sent me some shit. i paid but they sent some extra shit and an upgrade on the lipstick i got so. usually local i do a vid whether i paid or not but now ima do a whole reel ya know. dope indigenous company close by red deer. this lipstick lasts me all fckn night i aint come accross nothing like it. through all my events. shit is this the promo right here. ok anyway lol. ooouuu gwan shuffle how to kill a man acoustic version playin. lit lit. left hand itching bout to get rich quick. lol 

i have a lot going on and nothin at the same time. like not a lot thats payin me. but i also applied for some jobs. im hopeful. im still bein a bit picky about the jobs i apply for which is funny cuz im sittin here gettin car sick in the back of ubers I NEED A CAR. anyway. i had the meeting with honda and i feel like i fucked that up. anyway i prob wrote about it. ok long ass blog post. whoops shit. hope ur takin a shit readin this and it was entertaining enuf to come laugh with me next time we see each other. i love incense. 

im really noticng how much im really guardin my energy lately. like maybe november or so last year. i just don't give a fuck lol. when i say im old im like ya. im old. should i loc my hair back?

OMFG I held out for a perfect job. and I'm the fckn new yyc producer for sofar sounds!!  

i'm dreading this 2025 recap cuz i've done a lot. yay thats a good thing. but to put it all into one thing. def not doing the pic/vid recap again, i'm thinking in writing form would be easiest. we'll see if i make it. 

today i gotta get a few admin things done then i'm heading to xmas getaway…my parents house while they are out of town for the holidays haha. i build a gingerbread house and watch sound of music every year solo. and then go to lucy's house xmas day for cheesy xmas movies and a dinner of appies. epic. 

ok, short post. time to work so i get to my winter wonderland. byeee

 I got to help plan a couple festivals, SoundOff Summit in Lethbridge and Calgary. 

curated my first show in calgary. I suppose i curated a little set in Fernie for Pride, I got to bring a few of my fave performers with me. But this show in calgary for soundoff summit was my first taste at producing and curating a show. It was for dinner with all the delegates and board members of Music Calgary and I knew I wanted it to be very me, and very entertaining. I got together a dream team and we KILLED it. mad excited for the opportunities that may bring in the future. 

ok, maybe i'll remember more later. anyway byeeee.

oh ya i was on cbc calgary eyeopener this morning! that was cool. one person i know heard it lol. but tmrw im on again talking the LYFE project with Nii so i'm excited. 

RIGHT

i was on the big screen this year lolol. i went to chinook theatre for a solo movie the other day and realized, holy shit, last time i walked here i was fancy on a red carpet and being celebrated. hopped out of a town car to paparazzi. WILD. so there's another first. I was on the big screen at chinook fckn mall!!! for CIFF. as part of shades by humainologie. fckn wild. 

I remember one! 

first time i saw the northern lights so intensely. laying on my back on. FROZEN LAKE in YELLOWKNIFE. and we performed in a fricking ICE CASTLE. ok that was a big one. 

Also i performed in frickin TOKYO. okok ill be back with more i forgot im sure. those are big ones lmao. 

it's been a MINUTE. i'm up early because I thought i had an interview at 815am but its actually pm LOL. but i'm hosting a jam session with kinde at 1130am anyway (pretty sure) and I've been itching to write in here for a min. what to say. I mean. I feel like I haven't been celebrating or even writing down my accomplishments. this year was a lot. i've grown. but also just really trying to close chapters in my life with my ex. it's been DRAGGGGING. and watching him straight up lie in a lawyers office was frickin jarring. but we're here. i'm here. anyway, some dope firsts this year that i can think of, i'll hop back on here and just add random stuff that happened throughout the year, maybe that'll help with my recap lolol. 

first time winning an award. 

first time damn im shootin blanks. ill circle back

it was cool kendall gender messed up my name then followed me on IG. we are acquaintances now, not sure if she knows. 

first canadian on the prague pride stage. 

first little tour that wasnt marketed as a tour. lolol. 

first time curating and producing a show

first time doing a comedy set

i really got more into journalism, now writing officially for reverie and cups n cakes. and i did a piece for scene!

can't believe i'm really still not working a 9-5. i took that leap and never looked back. but i bite my nails EVERY MONTH. and somehow it always works out. I only borrowed once for rent. not bad. 

first time building my own curriculum. and its for UNITY youth program. 

i'm on the board for music calgary, black pride yyc, femme wave. 

i sit on a couple review panels as well that I can't talk about. 

I CUT MY LOCS. wow that was this year. yes i cut my locs after growin them for like 6 years, my whole music career has known me with locs. i started this hair journey. when i first cut them off i was hiding under braided styles back to back. but the past month or so i've been really living in my fro and exploring styles. it's so fckn fun. appreciate my hair journey. 

i dated someone. ugh. learned and lived and im proud for puttin myself out there. even joined a dating app that ive since deleted lolol. it's not for me. i still prefer to meet ppl in the wild or just be solo. im really. good solo. also im outside all the time. i just need to be ok dating in my world. i used to have rules around dating, no one in the music scene, no one who doesn't understand my POC trauma…and no one who is friends with someone i already know. well turns out, this city is too small for all them rules LMAO. so now IM OUTSIDE. staying in my boundaries and exploring cuz i'm fine being hurt anyway, my support system is strong. lets go outside fuck it. 

Kimmortal wore my fckn merch on stage and also said they wanna hang and create with me. sooooooo i dunno….i'm GEEEEKING. i dont care if they see this one day, they know what they did. it was huge for me. in my city?? come on. and i now go to filipinx karoake every month. salamat. 

im not sure what the hell virgos were goin thru this year, i thought last year was bad cuz i lost 3 ppl. well…2. the 2nd one is good riddance. but like, loss and grief and anger all the same. in the same year i did a reality tv show. bruh. the highs and lows are ROLLERCOASTER levels. 

lately ive been wanting my creative outlet to be writing to heavy club beats, anger almost. i still need to get it out, but i cant talk about stuff yet, so i need to not write and waste dope beats, on something i cant put out until court is done and that could be years. lol. so i write with no beat, just to get it out. but i want the angry beats for my next project. anyway. its a loop i cant get out of rn

my next album is slowly building in my head. but havent made any movements towards creating it yet. im still pushing my album from last year. but i got some shit….oouuuuu. i might put it out on the 2nd year anniversary or sumn. or maybe my bday. i dunno. 

i can't think of anything else rn but there was a lot this year. and the year is not done yet. when i think of more, I"ll try to come back sooner than later. whoops lol. 

well, just got home, and i COULD be working, but instead i rolled a spliff and am watching netflix. fuck netflix and chill its flix and a smoke lolol. nights like this i like to watch mostly dumb shows, currently it's grace and frankie lol. im obsessed wit older ppl. i will say tho, im happy that: a. this is my 2nd blog post in a week. owwww. and b. this is my first spliff since i left at like 1pm today. currently 9:40pm. ya for u that may be like wateva, but for me thats about 5 spliffs i wouldve smoked at my computer all day lol. i think im actually through my burnout, i'm still having fun going out and not feeling guilty about working on music or working at the restaurant. i had genuine fun at zac's bday party. so many ppl came out and it's a cool tradition he's been doing and i feel blessed to be a new addition to that!! i love the scene here. had a nice time chilling wit a power couple too. apparently they don't really talk about being together too much in public, just who sees, sees, so I won't mention who it is but thank you for the ride and proper vibes!! I had to take a moment and really sit back and pat myself on the back for even being considered to be part of a hip hop documentary that Emil is doing for Berta. I worked hard, and it's surreal that I could be a part of something like that. or that ppl even see me in that light. of course yes in my brain im famous and helping my friends sustain by creating an eco system we can all get paid off of. but u know, in scales haha. but in my head we are already sharing the private jet. i just told my manager the other day that im gassing up the jet to send to her so she can get away for the wknd. it'll happen. and i'll look back at this blog entry one day and cry. hope im filming it lolol. i keep saying i wanna film stuff. i even got a whole fkn green screen circle background thing that sits on my chair so i can focus on doing more vids. i can edit them on this big ass imac. omg i still can't blv i got so lucky with this. ok peep this. so i brought my mac laptop to toronto, for minimal work i might need to get done. didn't realize it was on it's last legs, and i used it once and then….kaput. that's it. it just died. we were going to smash it for the IS BIG video but the timing didn't work out. but I was like shit, i guess i gotta sort out a new laptop when i get home. with the $-23 i had in my acct lolol. but before i even got back home, my homie came through with a fckn big ass imac desktop. which is PERFECT because i'm blind, and staring at a small ass laptop all day for the last few years has been. ugh. to say the least. it was gifted, so i can't say who gave it to me. but he knows im VERY thankful!! clutch. talk about the universe. the way i just let that laptop go and was like, meh it'll work out. and it did. ugh this is why some ppl hate me lol. they think my life is easy cuz of things like this happening. but it's all hard work meeting opportunity. If I had not have sustained that relationship i wouldn't have ended up with this computer. and had he not seen my hard work first hand and passion, he probably would have kept it and made money selling it to someone!  so. see what u wanna see. end of the day it shows me who u are more than anything else. fuck im high. so is frankie rn on the show lol. i can't see it yet, just listening, kind of anyway lol. that's why i like shows like these, i can miss stuff. no biggie. its white noise. seriously shout out k the chosen cuz i prob wouldnt be on this blog today again. holy shit ima be on the block. cbc. thats wild. i cant wait. this year is shaping up to be big. i didnt work out today. boooo. or yesterday. but i did walk. ill work out tmrw before i head to the restaurant. i did notice that my right knee feels weird again. loose kinda? i wore my knee sleeve thing today to help me walk proper ish but damn. prob tmi but i thought that hershetea would come back when i got sexually active again. but i'm not lol. but she's back…i mean a difference is that i am open to dating now though. maybe that woke hershetea up lolol. oh ya it's black history month. go learn sumn. go support someone. buy me a coffee on my website if u like! ouu i should update my online store. ok gd night. 

well. thanks to k the chosen, because he posted about his blog today and tagged me and it reminded me, oh shit ya i gotta blog too. and in true form, i was good on this for a minute and then it fell off again lol. and also in true form, I have shit to do, but i'm here with my thoughts sending it out to the world again. anyway. im so effin happy 2024 is done. even tho everything is usually just another day to me, for some reason, just the simple fact i dont have to write 2024 anymore, i dunno, it lifted some shit for me. i'm sure a numerology expert can explain why. but I know personally i had a shit year and the best year ive ever had. so, ya. i'm not really ready to talk about it but i'm open with most of it. well sure, for the few ppl that read this, lets let it out lol. well what happened last year without readin my past entries to prompt my memory, well a lethbridge pioneer passed away and i'm still trying to understand that. it also happened at a time i was without my phone for 10 days, yet i felt it so bad that i was crying on set and couldn't figure out why. one of 2 of my exes died, but then a month later my mini me committed suicide and the whole thing is so effed up that i'm still mad about it. so mad that i cant even write about it yet. i've never been that upset. but u know, compartmentalize. thought divorcing my ex after being separated 8 years would be easy, thought he'd somehow change to reasonable I guess, but he's still the same and it's still. fckn. ongoing. divorce CAN be simple, but not with this incredible individual, and I cant legally say shit about that so im scared to even write anything about that. so ya, the stress went through my body. i threw my back out AGAIN, and the same time my knees were doing a weird thing that i'm currently avoiding. i'm happy to say now, in the current state, i'm ok. i'm dealing. therapizing. and pushing through all at the same time. even opened myself up to dates! haven't gone on any, but u know, my mind's there lolol. Oh, also found out my grandma was a slave to my grandpa's family…which is pretty wild and don't really feel like diving into THAT too deep. smh. I burned out last year, and denied it for super effin long. i declared myself a full time artist, but forgot winter is mad fckn slow so i'm picking up shifts at the restaurant to make rent and feel backwards every time i perform BBBO. just remembering that I wrote it for others, not me. I started actually cutting back on the weed intake. so far not so bad, def saving a bit of money. don't judge too hard yall but i was over an ounce a week. yep. i've since cut it down to 20g a week. if i can get it down to 10g a week I'd be a happy gyal, but also not gonna punish myself too bad. i'm also on a health journey. again. this time though i'm not on a crazy diet or anything, i'm just being bougie with my food choices and mixing short high intensity workouts with my yoga. my back feels better. knees are decent. i aint 20 lolol. good things that happened though? well i made it into a vision board publication! featured in exclaim this year. i remember visibly shaking when jess told me at folk fest and i was tryna stay focused but holy shit. i was on the cover for the first time solo! and i got to smoke and it was a sick cover. being photographed by shannon. WHAT. so ya. thats dope. i got invited to interview on the block cbc, which i'm flying to film in a couple weeks. I got to guest host for the key of a which plays on sirius xm! also getting played on a show like that is also on sirius xm is dooope. oh ya, dropped an album ive been working so fckn hard on for 4 years. got to open for cadence weapon. nominated for my first award ever and got to perform. got to film a short fckn movie for a music video by JB Visualz and Vince Raquel!! I moved into my dream home. got to be in a tv show. got casted as one of 6 women for the Shades documentary series that premieres for CIFF every year. I joined the board of directors at Music Calgary,  when haviah said “bottom of the earth with the album of the year”. i felt that so much i cried. i also cried the first time i heard the album and the outro came on “i manifested this” i was in tkaronto looking out a window and was just so thankful. i dunno. like i said. so many highs, yet the lows were sooo low.  i still feel like im forgetting some things i'm sure of it actually. but like. im tired. and i need to update the links on my website, bandsintown, etc for my upcoming shows. OH YA, and i might be a journalist and dj now. also still trying to figure out how to give back to my community recurringly. maybe a radio show?

duolingo has been my latest phone game obsession so bare with me. I want to do liner notes for my album but carving out time to actually sit and do it, when the memories just flow so randomly and i want to be writing stuff down constantly instead of one sitting. but alas. here we are. for now im chillin at alcove waiting on bkay so we can do some admin shit. 

OMG I'M FUCKING OPENING FOR CADENCE WEAPON AND SUPER DUTY TOUGH WORK!!!! this is wild. I met Cadence Weapon at Junos in treaty 6 last year, HE KNEW WHO I WAS. i was like hey im tea fannie he's like oh ya i've heard ur music, keep going you're talented and i kept it together in the moment and then went behind the black curtain and silent (kinda) screamed. fast forward to now and im fuckin opening for him and SDTW. i opened for SDTW in treaty 1 nov 2023 and I guess it went really well!!  I can't wait to perform in treaty 6 and 7 for these guys this is HUGE. 

Also my album release parties are coming up soon! Oct 12 in YYC and oct 19 in YEG. tix on sale for $5.50 or more on my website. so like…here. lol

wow 5 months since my last blog. im not committed or serious about this blog obviously, although i really want to be lol. ok short note. im off to work. see yall soon!! album in less than 2 weeks but if your on my email list you may get a sneak peak!!

yep, that's prob the best way to put it lol. I'm uber excited, but also, it's a lot. And I can't even say anything about half of it. but i'm beyond thankful. it's a weird space to be in. But overall, super happy and grateful. I remember when all i wanted was to walk on 17th ave and see my name on a flyer, then i had a (very sexy) girl come up to me and tell me that she saw my name on a flyer in the bathroom at a bar and thats why she came to the show. WILD. that moment sticks with me, cuz how dope is that?!!!! I remember when i just wanted to be in a newspaper, then that happened. then i was like damn id love to be on tv, then THAT happened. my next big thing I'm manifesting is doing a feature verse for a legend. I picture myself getting the stamp of approval by missy one day. And I do “work it” for her.  Also I see myself playing Queen latifah in her movie they will inevitably do about her. i figure i'll be big enough by then that my name could be in the running, sure why not. I was in a movie once lol. Naija movie actually, I played the bad influence canadian to the god fearing Nigerian daughter in the film. it was fun. cringy to watch myself on a big screen, in a theatre, all dressed up cuz it was red carpet and stuff at globe theatre hehe. oh man. don't ask me the name of that movie, i genuinely don't remember. But I bet Nardwar will find it lolol. I remember when I wanted music to be the reason I travel to new places. last year i touched, Manchester, London, Rotterdam, Yellowknife. I'm not bragging, I'm just really trying to remind myself how far I've come, and to keep manifesting amazing opportunities and to take the pizza out of the oven now omg its prob burning smh. ya ok its not burnt, but its way to hot eat right now, so figured id come finish this up. this world is fucked up. and i'm just trying to stay in my blessings to help change the world. like, for me, it really feels like music is my path and piece to contribute in this wild world and somehow maybe i can ignite change within some ppl thru my words. i'm meant for great things, i know that now, and it's not cocky, or whatever, its confidence.  

this memory is stuck on my brain today so figured id just write it out. maybe its because i was on the but for the first time in forever, so it just brought me back to some foul memories in my life lol. anyway here we go. 

so on my 5 year anniversary, i found out that my ex's friends had no clue that we were together lol. ya. 5 years. his friends thought that I just brought him to the country for paperwork and i caught feelings or something and I just get upset for no reason. i was in shock. we had gone to BC for a nice get away with a nother couple, they didnt know were celebrating an anniversary, they JUST thought it was my bday and my ex REALLY thought he could get thru the wknd withoutj shit blwoing up in his face. wild. but alas, i pretended like i didnt know the whole drive back. omg wait, rewind, i remember buying my bday cake from DQ, and this man wouldnt even get out of the car. and then when we brought it back to the cabin, the 3 of us were there doing a lil bday cake thing, u kno, as one does. and he wouldnt leave the living room. he just said gwan go cut the cake i dont want no cake. i cant blv the situation i was in, but while i was in it, this all just seems normal. like im very much just let ur partner be whoever they wanna be, do whatever they wanna do, and he fully took advantage of that. but that whole day, that trip, was just rude af. i remember he dipped and went and played pool, i wasnt allowed to join lol. yes its my bday and our anniversary…i dunno. i was foolish. clearly. i mean he had a girl living in a house we both own… within a week (prob a few days really) after i finally left him and the house. NUFF SAID. 

anyway, i let my ice cream cake melt in the trunk that day on the way back to the city. i also stayed with him for a few months after that, until one day i finally got “my proof” (like being ridiculed by his friends wasn't enough lol) and i dipped one night. whatever i could fit in my 2 door civic and dipped to edmonton for my year and a half long bender to get out of whatever toxic shit i was under for 5 years. then i started music…the rest is MYstory. 

i cant even say so much about all the shit. theres so much shit. i hope to tell my story one day, but i need to fully understand about defamation and see what i can and cannot say, because he WILL come after me for defamation…if i could pubicly tell u the situation im in RIGHT NOW cuz of this guy…pssh but i cant. legally. so…im venting about old memories for now lol. 

So I tried to play a new card game today, its called magic i think and it looks super cool. but i couldnt let myself actually just have fun and learn because i couldnt stop thinking about all the things i have to get done for this release. and before the secret thing happens. even having a show next week im happy for, it'll help me pay for the video. also i might be joining big bro on a lil tour support ting the first week of may. which just basically means im losing a week of prep. take aim needs the press release and stuff sooner than later.  doesnt look like ill have the video ready but it is what it is. im workin on it. ya know. finally started the press release for bbbo which means that i can just finish it and do touch ups until i get the cover art sorted. im running out of time and the album doesnt come out till sept. wtf. 

also chat gpt just saved me lmfao cuz like i was stuck on what to write about, cuz like. i gotta brag about me…but chat gpt knows me better than i knowmyself damn. i had to step back, like wait ur right, i AM a trail blazer. anyway. im watchin these guys play magic and im gonna put my laptop down and join them for a bit before i head out. first stop is one big jam where catfish is, and then i won tix to a comedy show. couldnt really find ppl to come last minute…lol but Ima go with aliza and eat that pizza!!

how am i supposed to keep this video to myself. its the first cut from @marycloseup and im obsessed. i can't blv its her first music video. but also i can because she does commercial type video, but her insta is creative AF. so i mean..the its there girl, i was not even that surprised. UR FKN TALENTED. anyway ok so im happy i got to touch this blog again. i woke up with some mad cramps. i dont think i've had cramps like these for maybe over a year, maybe 2! thankfully i numbed it with like everything. cbd oil, cramps be gone from highku, pain pills, edibles. it finally subdued a little a couple hours ago, and now i just need to sustain this mixture of drugs. lol. jks. whenever its this bad, it doesnt last more than 12 hours, then it just hurts like normal for the rest of the week. 

im supposed to do shrooms and create tonight at my fave place, wizards palace, but i've been pity eating chocolate ALL DAY, (mini eggs are killer and the insta cart accidentally gave me a fam size bag last wknd, and ive been workin my way through it today HEAVY) no for real, its a $18 bag fam lol. i would NEVER buy that, but if they mess up then they mess up. ce la vie. anyway, all of that to say that i dont think i should do shrooms. sounds like a concoction for gut rot or some shit. and ive never been the designated sober person, so lets try that tonight. i really wanna create a vogue track. i just need to really step into my bad bitch mentality, it got so stripped down with my marriage, then i went like SUPER confident but a false confidence (drugs) after my separation and after that year of partying lol i've been struggling to get back to my pre married super confident T. it'll come, i'm not worried about it cuz im working on it. omg and last night i got a super dope compliment!! a friend said that my voice control sounds so much better! i almost cried, cuz ive really been workin on that for the past year. since that live recording came out when me and riz headlined a nye party, they released the live versions, which are still on spotify, but I was so upset at myself. to be fair, i was going through a world of emotions on that stage, but still. pushin thru is what i do!!

stayin busy busy. i gotta run. just got off work a bit early and i forgot to put my towels in the dryer….so now i gotta wait to take a shower and get ready to head to catfish spot lmfao. but that's cool. i got time. time is fluid. and everthing happens when it's supposed to. for the most part. omg maybe i should bring midi and laptop and try making beats tonight since ill be sober (ish). hmmmmmm. intersting i can feel my cramps coming back in. oooof on some sharp pain shit. how dare u. ok im gone. fuck it ill air dry. 

hmmmm. i wonder if I'll keep this going. I kinda like talking to no one pubicly right now. it's a vibe lol. i go through waves of liking things, which is another reason why I know music is for me. I still love it, likes it's my baby and I'm proud to love it and being stuck with it life long isn't a scary thing. ya know? im sure ppl with kids get it. maybe? i wouldn't know… anyway. guess what I didnt get to today lololl. press release. but thats ok! cuz im off work at 2 tmrw and I can mos def finish it tmrw afternoon. I got so sidetracked updating everything, worth it tho, needed to be done. I love my view from my balcony. my work station and my lil at home studio just faces out my balcony and I can see random tall buildings kinda far but not that far away. sometimes i wonder if any of them have binoculars, cuz it's definetly an easy scope, i have my light on, u can see right in here. but ive come so far with my confidence in music that i have practices solo in my living room. going hard as a mofo, knowing that potential someone could be watching or worse, recording lolol. but meh. leak it when we famous, it'll be funny lololol. just cut the parts if u catch me pickin my face or something i beg. what am i sayin…like the person is gonna read this. anyway i had a really good day. I haven't had one of these days in a really long time where i could just focus on all my cool things. like updating spotify for artists, and songkick, that tells ppl on streaming platforms when my next shows are, updating my whole website! i figured out how to add downloadable links for hi-res pics!! thats a huge level up for me. i cant wait to tackle the press relerase tmrw. then tuesday afternoon i can practice my beat making!!! I gotta get decent at this by mid april for reasons….and i gotta carve out time to learn!  also get to sit down with catfish soon and actually do the cover arts for album and next single!! aaahhh and maybe even 3rd single. see how time goes. also i keep trying diff things for my scalp treatments after i do my apple cidar vinegar rinse, (its like a 3-4x a year thing). so far for the last few years i havent found anything that soothed and fit with my hair. i shall keep trying. right now its teatree oil sumn sumn. it has tea in it, and thats my name, so it should work. right?  ya ya. tea logic. 

also if ur a crypto geek, i got sumn comin for u too. I've actually done virtual shows where i get paid in bitcoin, cuz..why not…lets see what happens ya kno. and catfish made these dope gifs. bet i could make some coin sellin them on the block chain. did i say that right? im learning. anyway stay tuned. yay work tmrw morning….i love my job cuz i can work from anywhere and make my own hours and everyone is really nice, but i'm sure even they know, it won't last forever. and i kinda feel like it's coming close. cuz im like, really fckn busy and i dont even have back to back shows. still sayin yes to (most) collabs tho!!!

as i uploaded the pic i reminded myself i also need to get ON my merch. whoops. also shout out begonia for this merch idea. 

right. ok so instead of working on this press release, cuz honestly its the funnest part of this whole shit, but because of that, i save it till last. i do the harder shit first. blame pops. anyway. i wanted to check in and show yall that its now after 3pm and i think i wrote the first blog like early this morning. and ive been updating everything else since then lmao. im just gonna roll up, go outside and smoke, and come back ready to start my faves. but its great, that my bandcamp is updated, the website with new pics, though still figuring out the links to download the high res pic. next venture. shit i should do that before i go smoke so allll i have to focus on is the press releases. oh  ya, add lyrics for the album on that list of things to do before end of april. whoops. okok. but ya, nuff stuff is updated now, i feel better. its like doing the dishes. it just eases ur brain right. just me? ok cool. cool.