pic by @indahbynatalie

bruh how the fuck is it the 5th month and say word i haven't added a blog entry yet this year. i'm so unserious lol.  i find it interesting that when i'm working i still like random tv in the background. but it used to be old school shows ive seen but now it's shows i haven't seen before and then i be distracted af when its a good show like bad sisters cuz its mom and all her aunties and thats all i can say on that…and INVINCIBLE. im obsessed with invincible. i dont wanna finish the 4th season cuz i just found out its new and i just discovered and binge watched it. shit im gettin distracted currently its a youtube vid “stories that sound fake but actually happened” and multiple contact lenses are being taken out of one eye at one time cuz someone forgot to take out her dailies for like ever i guess. ok lets switch to music. 

this is good cuz im tryna dj. even tho i failed the goal of doing a dj set before end of 2025 LOL. and i still havent even. well anyway nah matter. i'm gettin back to hyper focused. i've just been kinda chillin. well not chillin but just truly followin flow and seein wat happens. this next steps and coming couple years are going to be mad intentional and im so nervous and excited to see what happens. i cry when i reach goals so i'll fill yall in i'm sure. hmm plans plans. well im starting subscriptions. which is kinda backwards cuz i should have content stacked and ready. but really that hasnt been workin for me. i work better under pressure so im creating it fuck it and then i HAVE to have that content ready for peeps. also gettin back on my email newsletter tingy's. i think i got like 40 subscribers or sumn i dunno. but just creating my own line to anybody who wanna actually follow my career. sumn tells me ig aint it. even with sofar, id love to grab some of those emails. i will start asking ppl. start getting back into these grants im done bein mad lol. i just need the system to be sustainable. but me stayin out of it aint gonna fix shit. 

i think its. wild my mom and i have come such a long way. it still trips me out when she allows me to stop at a fast food joint drivethru for food or yesterday droppin off a costco size bag of popcorn. dammnn. appreciate it. my health journey sucks but its my own. i'll get there eventually but till then i still love my. body. love a toxic bish thats why im obsessed with myself lol. i should read these blog posts back someday soon i feel like im so unhinged sometimes. but watevs. im working with new management and i have a meeting with her in 2 days and its like whats my brand. ive been like i dunno. i dont know if i blv in a brand for the biggest of stars maybe that's why. anyone i know has just been authentically them. or they pop off a certain sound vibe or look like ice spice then ur just stuck there. sometimes its amazing and u see artists break out of that shell. rare tho. whoa diamonds in teal by lucky daye is playing right now. has me swaying. is it rude to say in front of producers i really fuck with and work with that i havent heard the sound that i want for my album yet. like anywhere. its in my head and i need to learn how to produce to get it out. im only realizing in this moment it might be rude but ive been saying that for almost a year now. i just, i dunno, i just wanna fuck it up so bad. i wanna work with someone who is fucking shit up like my outfits do here. but like if i was in ATL id be basic af and if me and that producer got together it would just make sense ya know. i dunno if that tracked but im still flowing so fuck it. some shit thats so grand so weird maybe it fucks up “rules” of beat making. i dunno. cuz the flows i got in my head i just need the beat to pull it out. anyway. this shit aint impossible so i need to stop talkin and just do it lol. but first….DJ. oh shit i gotta take these pics for sacrid beauty. they sent me some shit. i paid but they sent some extra shit and an upgrade on the lipstick i got so. usually local i do a vid whether i paid or not but now ima do a whole reel ya know. dope indigenous company close by red deer. this lipstick lasts me all fckn night i aint come accross nothing like it. through all my events. shit is this the promo right here. ok anyway lol. ooouuu gwan shuffle how to kill a man acoustic version playin. lit lit. left hand itching bout to get rich quick. lol 

i have a lot going on and nothin at the same time. like not a lot thats payin me. but i also applied for some jobs. im hopeful. im still bein a bit picky about the jobs i apply for which is funny cuz im sittin here gettin car sick in the back of ubers I NEED A CAR. anyway. i had the meeting with honda and i feel like i fucked that up. anyway i prob wrote about it. ok long ass blog post. whoops shit. hope ur takin a shit readin this and it was entertaining enuf to come laugh with me next time we see each other. i love incense. 

im really noticng how much im really guardin my energy lately. like maybe november or so last year. i just don't give a fuck lol. when i say im old im like ya. im old. should i loc my hair back?