how am i supposed to keep this video to myself. its the first cut from @marycloseup and im obsessed. i can't blv its her first music video. but also i can because she does commercial type video, but her insta is creative AF. so i mean..the its there girl, i was not even that surprised. UR FKN TALENTED. anyway ok so im happy i got to touch this blog again. i woke up with some mad cramps. i dont think i've had cramps like these for maybe over a year, maybe 2! thankfully i numbed it with like everything. cbd oil, cramps be gone from highku, pain pills, edibles. it finally subdued a little a couple hours ago, and now i just need to sustain this mixture of drugs. lol. jks. whenever its this bad, it doesnt last more than 12 hours, then it just hurts like normal for the rest of the week.
im supposed to do shrooms and create tonight at my fave place, wizards palace, but i've been pity eating chocolate ALL DAY, (mini eggs are killer and the insta cart accidentally gave me a fam size bag last wknd, and ive been workin my way through it today HEAVY) no for real, its a $18 bag fam lol. i would NEVER buy that, but if they mess up then they mess up. ce la vie. anyway, all of that to say that i dont think i should do shrooms. sounds like a concoction for gut rot or some shit. and ive never been the designated sober person, so lets try that tonight. i really wanna create a vogue track. i just need to really step into my bad bitch mentality, it got so stripped down with my marriage, then i went like SUPER confident but a false confidence (drugs) after my separation and after that year of partying lol i've been struggling to get back to my pre married super confident T. it'll come, i'm not worried about it cuz im working on it. omg and last night i got a super dope compliment!! a friend said that my voice control sounds so much better! i almost cried, cuz ive really been workin on that for the past year. since that live recording came out when me and riz headlined a nye party, they released the live versions, which are still on spotify, but I was so upset at myself. to be fair, i was going through a world of emotions on that stage, but still. pushin thru is what i do!!
stayin busy busy. i gotta run. just got off work a bit early and i forgot to put my towels in the dryer….so now i gotta wait to take a shower and get ready to head to catfish spot lmfao. but that's cool. i got time. time is fluid. and everthing happens when it's supposed to. for the most part. omg maybe i should bring midi and laptop and try making beats tonight since ill be sober (ish). hmmmmmm. intersting i can feel my cramps coming back in. oooof on some sharp pain shit. how dare u. ok im gone. fuck it ill air dry.